#WOW #Write Over the Weekend
Since last 10-12 days , I have been planning to write a blog on our very own Mahatma Gandhi ji so as to publish the same on Gandhi Jayanti i.e. on 2nd October.
Accordingly , I went through some of his teachings available online and that’s when I came across an exceptionally powerful & thought provoking quote of his, which most of us have heard in our school days too :
“The weak can never forgive.Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”
Beautiful words, aren’t they ?
We Indians should really consider ourselves to be lucky for having born & reside in a country to which people like Gandhi ji belong & where there is actually a whole festival dedicated to celebrate forgiveness , Paryushana.
Usually , in case of some arguments or fight , even if the right guy asks for forgiveness in the middle of the event, he is perceived by masses as the weaker one which is really unfortunate because forgiveness is certainly not a consequence of any sort of weakness . No, it rather reflects the intellect of the person concerned that probably, he is mature enough to understand that there is absolutely no use of dragging things beyond a certain point and hence he either seeks forgiveness voluntarily or forgives the opponent casually despite being not at fault himself.
And just like in each one’s life , I too have had my shares of arguments , fights , those bitter feelings of anger & revenge.But talking about these closed chapters specifically all over again might bring back sad memories both for me as well as for the counterparts involved (who might too read this write up). So instead I would focus more on how I experienced the bliss of forgiveness and why forgiveness is something to be celebrated about.
Honestly speaking , sometimes a thing as small as passing of some rude & undesirable comments in public by a fellow batch-mate or a colleague used to fill me up with intense anger as I could not infer the reason for being at the receiving end of such unwanted bitterness . More often than not , one of the two things followed : Either I used to give back an equally harsh statement immediately or I used to control myself at that moment but a very uncomfortable feeling of rage kept nagging me from inside .And all this has happened to me at least 4-5 times over last 5 years or so .
But then, as one grows in age, temper automatically calls for a break to re-think and I realized that a very important attribute is missing from my life , which is something very basic & very Human . That’s right , Forgiveness. I had probably forgotten to forgive when it came to people other than my family members . And that obviously resulted in more damage than doing anything good because you may eventually get your Pseudo-Ego satisfying peace by taking revenge after say 20 or 30 days but what about those countless moments of frustration, irritation and anger which your mind generated over & over again during these 20-30 days . The whole planning of revenge or the recreation of that whole scene in your thoughts repetitively (when that particular unpleasant conversation or event happened) makes you feel angry & insulted N number of times , unnecessarily .
What I want to emphasize is that revenge is absolutely not worth it . It’s all your mind’s play. While I am not saying that one should not maintain his/her self respect or should not take a stand against anything ethically wrong but one must consider forgiveness as one of the probable solutions ,even if there is slightest of window if not room available for the same.
I personally felt a lot better every single time I could brain wash myself to forgive the other person by saying that ok ,he might have said this casually and I am probably overreacting or that may be, I misunderstood , he meant to say something else but I could gather only bits & pieces of his dialogue which were then conveniently misinterpreted by my monkey mind to make them sound insulting. And believe me , it did help me save 2 of my very close friendships which otherwise had gone for a toss due to petty issues.
In particular , I had a very bad argument with a dearest friend of mine (who is more of a brother than a friend) back in 2012 , again over some silly misunderstandings. We didn’t talk for a good 2 years , initially because of our egos and when ego eventually receded , a strange hesitation crept in. But, one fine day , when I was having lunch with my family in a restaurant, he too was sitting with his other group of friends right at my back. Finally , as he was leaving the restaurant , I kicked my ego out, stopped him and hugged him. It’s really difficult & strange thing to do for guys but I just did it,without thinking how he’s gonna react. However, he too responded in an equally warm manner . So , it basically took both of us only few seconds to forgive each other and get our friendship back which otherwise was in jeopardy for more than 2 years. That’s the power of forgiveness and that’s exactly why I celebrate this wonderful human trait.
But when we say forgiveness , please make sure you don’t get swayed in such a way that your forgiveness turns out to be your arrogance in disguise. We may think that hey, I am a nice guy and a better human being , so let me forgive him or her.Beware of these mind games as otherwise the whole purpose of forgiveness will be defeated.
On a concluding note ,just want to say that guys wherever & whenever possible , please forgive or seek forgiveness because at the end of the day, our relationships are way more important that our inflated ego balloons. Remember :
“There is no love without forgiveness & no forgiveness without love.”
Hey Guys !
Got a really interesting prompt to write on this weekend – How do you celebrate Forgiveness !
Hope you found this write up worth a read. Thank You for sparing your time.
Would love to hear your feedback as comments below !